I’ve Never Felt Comfortable In My Body. Growing Up With Instagram Didn’t Help.
Growing up, like so many girls, I had body image issues and suffered from disordered eating habits. When I started my first diet, I was 11. I distinctly remember thinking that I was fat and that wasn’t okay. I was obviously not fat, but after being a gymnast since I was 7 and seeing so many girls before me — gymnasts and non-gymnasts alike — being told their bodies were wrong in every way, shape, and form, I felt an immense amount of pressure to be thin.
Based on what I had seen and heard, being thin was the way to be beautiful and revered. People used to obsess over my body when I was in gymnastics, even as a little girl. I was told how good I looked and how strong I was. I never worried about getting into a bikini because I had no doubt that I looked good. Even as a child, I thought about that, and I loved getting compliments about my body. After all, I was told it was a good thing.
After I quit gymnastics, though, I had more time to watch movies and TV shows, and I became more aware of the advertisements and media surrounding me. After starting to realize that my changing body wasn’t so “perfect” anymore, I first turned to YouTube to find exercise and dieting videos, which started out innocently enough. Then, Instagram blew up.
I started my first account when I was 12, and while I initially started it to post random pictures of my day and follow dog accounts, I also started following the fitness influencers I loved on Instagram. And then, some models started popping into my feed. And then more fitness influencers, and more models, and more girls with tiny photoshopped waists.
Those photos fueled something in me — I wanted to be just like them. They looked like they had everything I wanted; a gorgeous face, a stunning little waist, and a pretty cute boyfriend, too.
Soon enough, those “innocent” diets I was on led to a string of unhealthy exercise routines and dietary habits throughout my life, fueled by a drive to look like the beautiful models I saw in advertisements, on the internet, and yes, especially on Instagram. By the time I started high school, I was following all the diets that my favorite fitness influencers promoted and working out 2–3 hours a day.
I’m not saying Instagram is solely to blame for my disordered eating habits and body image issues. There’s plenty of pressure on young girls beyond that to be thin. But Instagram sure as hell didn’t help, either.
If you haven’t heard, Instagram wants to start an app for 10–13-year-olds, as sort of a precursor to using actual Instagram. As one of the first generations to use Instagram growing up, I can say from firsthand experience that I think Instagram for 10–13-year-olds is an awful idea for so many reasons — but one of the biggest is the impact it could have on young girls who are just like I was.
It’s been known for years that Instagram has a negative impact on girls' body image — Hell, even Facebook themselves have known for a while. And yet, even though Facebook knows the harm that Instagram has had on girls’ body image, they still wanted to go through with an app for 10–13-year-olds.
Let’s be real, Facebook is not trying to push this tween Instagram app through because they think it will be a genuinely great product for kids. It’s obvious they’re just trying to push this through for money, and because younger people are increasingly leaving social media apps like Facebook and Instagram due to the negative mental health effects that anyone whose been on any of these apps has probably experienced.
The particular problem with Instagram is that it breeds comparison. It thrives on it, and eventually, so do its users. If that girl with a tiny waist looks so happy, you feel like you should get on the treadmill and start working off the calories. If that magical tea that says it can make you thin worked for her, why not give it a go, even if you have to starve yourself?
Enter years of people like me spiraling through hours of workouts, diets that made me celebrate eating hardly any calories, and drinking way too many protein shakes. Just so I could be that girl on Instagram with a pretty face, a pretty body, and a pretty boyfriend.
But few people show what their lives actually look like on Instagram, they’re just showing the highlights or the fake versions of themselves… so the comparisons you’re making aren’t even fair or real. Many of the fitness influencers I followed when I was a kid have since admitted to having eating disorders. And those models I saw when I was struggling with my body image in high school could’ve been miserable for all I know. They were almost certainly photoshopping their photos. They probably weren’t eating enough. Their mental health might’ve also been shit while trying to keep up with others on Instagram.
But they never showed any of that, because that isn’t what Instagram was made for. Instagram was designed for engagement — whoever gets the most likes, the most saves, and the most comments is the best as far as Instagram is concerned. And in my opinion, it’s only gotten worse since I was a kid. At least it felt like there was some semblance of reality on the app back then. I can’t even imagine what growing up on Instagram would be like now.
Also, when you’re younger, you don’t necessarily think that everything you’re looking at could be fake. At least, I didn’t. But I’ve at least reached an age now where I know things on Instagram aren’t always real… after all, we live in a generation where you have to fact-check everything, even some model’s bikini photos in Cabo. But when you’re younger, why would you even think like that? Why should you be expected to know if someone’s pictures are photoshopped at such a young age?
While the thought of growing up on Instagram these days still scares the shit out of me, I will say that I’m grateful for the users who are calling BS on its awful body image effects and have created body-positive spaces on the app. But at the end of the day, I also think that it shouldn’t be on Instagram’s users to make it more body-positive — Instagram needs to take the first step by acknowledging the harm their platform can do and take subsequent steps to fix it before real progress is made… and not by making an app for an already at-risk group for poor mental health.
Instagram is yet another method of thrusting body image ideals onto impressionable young women — and it’s a pretty powerful one. People spend an average of around 30 minutes a day on Instagram. That’s 3.5 hours per week, and about 14 hours a month. It might sound small at first, but it adds up. And for the record, Instagram can still have shitty effects on my body image, even if it is better now. I’ve personally come a long way when it comes to my body image, but sometimes, all it can take is one look at a model on Instagram to put me back into some really unhealthy habits. I’m able to break out of them much more quickly now, but they still happen.
And look, I’m also not saying Instagram is all bad. I think it can be a fun place to share pictures of your life, deepen your connections with your friends and family, and maybe meet new people, too — you know, all of the things that Instagram was supposed to be (and should’ve stuck with).
But Instagram was awful for my already fragile body image when I was growing up, and the thought of girls as young as 10 years old having access to the platform scares me. Instead of trying to make more money by potentially causing serious harm to young girls’ body image and mental health, Instagram should be more concerned with fixing the issues it already has — because it certainly has enough to keep them busy for a while.
